January

January 1Old Year's Day
Lamenting the untimely end of the year gone by.
January 2National Misused Semicolon Day
Remembering; and celebrating; the misuse of the semicolon.
January 3National Curdled Milk Day
Celebrating curdled milk.
January 4National Throw a Spoon Day
Throw a spoon across the yard. It'll make you feel better.
January 5National Poopsicle Day
Celebrating the frozen dog poop in the yard.
January 6National Broken Cork Day
Celebrating the broken cork that fell into your bottle of wine.
January 7National Horse-Faced Dog Day
Celebrating dogs with horse faces.
January 8National Poke a Tree Day
Find the nearest tree and poke it.
January 9National Left Big Toenail Day
Celebrating the left big toenail, king of the toenails.
January 10National Office Supplies Day
Celebrating office supplies, the greatest invention of modern man.
January 11National Day of the Cat Butt
Celebrating the humble cat butt.
January 12National French Fry Enshrinement Day
Celebrating the enshrinement of the miraculous french fry.
January 13National Unplug the Microwave Day
Unplug your microwave today…at least for a few minutes.
January 14National Wipe Your Car Day
Today you should wipe your car with something other than sandpaper.
January 15National Chicken of the Sky Day
Celebrating the chicken of the sky, brother of the chicken of the sea.
January 16National Viscous Coupling Day
Celebrating the viscous coupling, engineering at its finest.
January 17National Eyes in the Front of Your Head Day
Celebrating those with eyes in the front of their head.
January 18National Ball-Point Pen Mountain Day
Celebrating the discovery of a mountain of ball-point pens.
January 19National Climb the Wall Day
Climb the wall and rest your head on the ceiling.
January 20National Don't Order Pizza Day
Do not order pizza today.
January 21National Perforation Day
Celebrating perforated paper.
January 22National Illuminated Stapler Day
Celebrating the illuminated stapler.
January 23National Day of the Irritable Bowel
Celebrating all irritable bowels, and those especially irritated today.
January 24National Wear a Cravat Day
Today, you should wear a stylish cravat.
January 25National Squeeze the Celery Day
Squeeze the celery.
January 26National Deflated Rabbit Day
Celebrating the internationally renowned deflated rabbit.
January 27National Plastic Tarp Day
Celebrating plastic tarps and other mediocre waterproofing methods.
January 28National Rubber Mallet Day
Celebrating the brave sacrifice of the rubber mallets.
January 29National Spay the Hamster Day
Spay your hamster today.
January 30National Day of the Frozen Soda
Celebrating the soda you left in the freezer.
January 31National Num-Lock Awareness Day
Raising awareness of num-lock, unappreciated keyboard key.

February

February 1National Day of the Leash Law
Celebrating the nation's leash laws.
February 2National Cheesecake Slurry Day
Celebrating cheesecake slurry, the tastiest of all slurries.
February 3National February Second Day
Remembering the second day in February.
February 4National Day of the HOA
Celebrating the ruthless enforcement of grass length.
February 5National Knotted Shoelace Day
Celebrating the knotted shoelace that won't come undone.
February 6National Sticky Waffle Memorial Day
Honoring the sacrifice of the sticky waffle.
February 7National Inflatable Lamb Chop Day
Celebrating inflatable lamb chops.
February 8National Cat Toes Day
Celebrating the cute, tiny toes of cats.
February 9National Forgotten Remembrance Day
Remembering all the remembrances that have been forgotten.
February 10National Speak Normally Day
Speak normally today. No fake accents or gimmicks.
February 11National Stinky Belgian Day
Celebrating stinky, garlic-eating Belgians.
February 12National Hunt for Pink October Day
Celebrating the ongoing hunt for Pink October.
February 13National Celebration of Doubt
I doubt this is important.
February 14National Denzel Valentine Day
Celebrating the career and accomplishments of Danzel Valentine.
February 15National Leisure Suit Memorial Day
Mourning the untimely death of the leisure suit.
February 16National Extraction of the Cheese Stick Day
Immediately extract the cheese stick.
February 17National Vinegar Enema Day
Consider the vinegar enema. Just consider it.
February 18National Video Conversion Day
Celebrating the conversion of video from one format to another.
February 19National Deep-Fry the Pillows Day
Deep-fry your pillows today.
February 20National Splattering Day
Celebrating splatter patterns.
February 21National Silent-But-Deadly Day
Celebrating the silent-but-deadly fart.
February 22National Motor Oil Day
Celebrating motor oil, which is useful, but not delicious.
February 23National Don't Die Day
Don't die today.
February 24National Unwheeled Bicycle Day
Celebrating bicycles without wheels.
February 25National Mark Everything 'Like' Day
Mark everything 'like' on Facebook. Everything.
February 26National Power Outlet Day
Celebrating the power outlet, grounded or ungrounded.
February 27National Burn a Bath Towel Day
Burn one of your bath towels today.
February 28National Day of the Emergent Worm
Celebrating the inspirational, emergent worm.
February 29National Annual Celebration Day
The quadrennial celebration of annual celebrations.

March

March 1National Bell-Bottom Socks Day
Celebrating bell-bottom socks, inexplicable and undefined.
March 2National Wood Awareness Day
Raising awareness of wood, a useful plant-based material.
March 3National Right-Front Wheel Day
Honoring the right-front wheel, the most important wheel.
March 4National Eat an Apple Computer Day
Eat an Apple computer today.
March 5National Day of the Chocolate Bathrobe
Celebrating the world's chocolate bathrobes.
March 6National Angry Voicemail Day
Leave somebody an angry voicemail today.
March 7National Oven Dial Day
Celebrating the dials on the oven.
March 8National Undulating Lizard Day
Celebrating the world-famous undulating lizard.
March 9National Doorway to the Roof Day
Celebrating the doorway to the roof.
March 10National Buttered Baster Day
Celebrating the great buttered baster.
March 11National Astoria Day
Yell and scream "Astoria" at people.
March 12National Motorized Mailbox Day
Celebrating the humble motorized mailbox.
March 13National Trundle the Bundle Day
Immediately trundle all of your bundles.
March 14National Booyah Day
Celebrating the timeless booyah.
March 15National Day of the Melon Baller
Celebrating the melon baller, most useful of the ballers.
March 16National Air Duct Day
Celebrating air duct systems, vibration isolators, and tuning vanes.
March 17National Fluffy Prawn Day
Celebrating the fluffy prawn that has been sitting out too long.
March 18National Dripping Faucet Day
Celebrating dripping faucets, beloved benefactor of the water utilities.
March 19National Car Paddle Day
Paddle your car down the river.
March 20National Speed-Bump Jump Day
Go as fast as you can over every speed bump you find.
March 21National Find the Holy Grail Day
Go find the holy grail. It shouldn't be difficult.
March 22Day of the Living Emu
Remembering the holy resurrection of the emu.
March 23National Extreme Jogging Day
Celebrating extreme jogging, king of the sports.
March 24National Thorax Admiration Day
Admiring the immense beauty of the thorax.
March 25National Uneaten Kung-Pow Day
Celebrating uneaten kung-pow chicken.
March 26National Imaginary Insect Day
Celebrating imaginary insects, superior to real ones.
March 27National Penguin Platter Day
Celebrating the delicious penguin platter.
March 28National Touch the Mirror Day
Touch the mirror, longingly.
March 29National Hexagon Pie Day
Celebrating and honoring all hexagonal pies.
March 30National Crooked Tie Day
Wear your ties crooked. If anybody says anything, insist that it isn't.
March 31National Mountain of Goats Day
Celebrating the infamous mountain of goats, located in Uzbekistan.

April

April 1National Microsoft Word Day
Honoring Microsoft Word, the word processing software to the stars.
April 2National Suspicious Hat Day
Celebrating the suspicious hat.
April 3National Morkey Moose Day
Celebrating Morkey Moose, off-brand Mickey Mouse.
April 4National Wear Your Bowl Day
Wear a bowl. It's really important that you do this.
April 5National Left-Front Wheel Day
Honoring the left-front wheel, the most important wheel.
April 6National Injection Molding Day
Celebrating the process of injection molding.
April 7Day of the Unending Conference Call
Hold an unending conference call today.
April 8National Frayed Wire Day
Celebrating the frayed wire and its heroic sacrifice.
April 9National Room-Temperature Chowder Day
Celebrating the immortal room-temperature chowder.
April 10National Bradford Pear Day
Celebrating the pungent, fruitless pyrus calleryana tree.
April 11National Mop Day
Celebrating the mop in all its lovely variations.
April 12National Beef Pickle Day
Celebrating the beef pickle.
April 13National Nitrile Englovement Day
Celebrating the honor of nitrile englovement.
April 14National Misplaced Door Day
Celebrating the misplaced door.
April 15National Angry Wasp Day
Celebrating the angry wasp, bane of the gardener.
April 16National Photoshop of the Ear Day
Celebrating all Photoshop edits to the humble ear.
April 17National Blue Light Day
Celebrating blue lights.
April 18National Cat Litter Scooper Day
Celebrating the un-sung hero of the litter box.
April 19National Lost Keys Day
Celebrating the loss of your keys. They must be around here somewhere.
April 20National Goose Fart Day
Celebrating the aromatic scent of the goose fart.
April 21National Cluttered Desk Day
Celebrating the cluttered desk, sign of brilliance and ingenuity.
April 22National Planets Other Than Earth Day
Protecting the environment of all planets other than Earth.
April 23National Stale Code Day
Celebrating the stale code in your repository.
April 24National Diet of Tasty Worms Day
Celebrating a delicious diet of tasty worms.
April 25National Exploratory Frisbee Day
Celebrating the brave, exploratory frisbee.
April 26Day of the Commercial-Grade Carpet
Honoring the sacrifice of commercial-grade carpets.
April 27National Bad Apple Day
Celebrating the bad apple, second cousin to the big apple.
April 28National Stubbed Toe Day
Stub your toe today. It's fun!
April 29National Day of the Living Bug
Celebrating the living bug, which burrows through your software like a groundhog.
April 30National Wear Your Boot On Your Head Day
Your pony will be delivered to the address on-record.

May

May 1National Move It A Pixel Left Day
Move it a pixel to the left.
May 2National Sickle Probe Remembrance Day
Celebrating the humble dental sickle probe, also known as the dental explorer.
May 3National Cowboy Underwear Day
Celebrating cowboy underwear, which, you know, is probably good underwear.
May 4National 'Star Search' Day
Remembering 'Star Search,' the syndicated competition television show.
May 5Day of the Eternal Muffin
Celebrating the eternal muffin of Paris, Virginia.
May 6National Reciprocating Saw Day
Celebrating the reciprocating saw, king of the saws.
May 7National Day of the Backslash
Use a backslash every time you would usually use a normal slash.
May 8National Mobile Phone Charger Day
Celebrating the humble sacrifice of the mobile phone charger.
May 9National Surgical Retractor Day
Celebrating the surgical retractor, king of the retractors.
May 10National Slurp the Soup Day
Slurp the soup!
May 11National Day of the Setting Sun
Today, the sun will set.
May 12National Abusive Skink Day
Abusive skinks are everywhere. Feed them to snakes.
May 13National Lemonade Gasoline Day
Celebrating any gasoline that might be, somehow, made of lemonade.
May 14National Uncontrolled Day
Today is uncontrolled.
May 15National Day of the Day
Celebrating the twenty-four hour day, which is superior to other days.
May 16National Mold Awareness Day
Raising awareness of mold, the world's greatest fungus.
May 17National Tail of the Lemur Day
Celebrating the amazing tail of the lemur.
May 18National Orbit the Planet Day
Orbit the planet day. Twice if you can.
May 19National Left-Rear Wheel Day
Honoring the left-rear wheel, the most important wheel.
May 20National Vampire Bat Denial Day
Affirming vampires by denying the vampire bat.
May 21National Waldo Memorial Day
In memory of Waldo.
May 22National Rotting Canoe Day
Celebrating canoes rotting down by the river.
May 23National Split Infinitive Day
You should boldy split infinitives today.
May 24National Actual Dragons Day
Celebrating actual dragons, but not imaginary ones.
May 25National F7 Day
Celebrating F7, most beloved function key.
May 26National Visit Your Uncle Day
Visit your uncle today. Unless you have more than one of them.
May 27National Other Nations Day
Celebrating the nations other than our own.
May 28National Paper Towel Mountain Day
Celebrating mountains made of paper towels.
May 29National Trim the Branches Day
Trim the branches!
May 30National Post Your Elbow on Instagram Day
Courageously post your elbow on Instagram today.
May 31National Micro-SD Card Day
Celebrating the micro-SD cards piling up in the bottom of your purse.

June

June 1National Giggly Tween Day
Celebrating the world's giggly tweens, and those who somehow survive them.
June 2National Space Potato Day
Celebrating the humble space potato.
June 3National Desert Full of Toads Day
Celebrating the desert full of toads.
June 4National Eat Food Day
Eat food today, unless you don't want to.
June 5National Rub the Bunion Day
Rub the bunion!
June 6National Rotating Platter Day
Celebrating the rotating platter, king of the platters.
June 7National Roof Rack Crossbar Day
Celebrating useful roof rack crossbars.
June 8National Soul of the Shoe Day
Celebrating the soul of the shoe.
June 9National Watch for Falling Rock Day
Honoring the continuing search for Chief Falling Rock.
June 10National Nude Pterodactyl Day
Celebrating the nude pterodactyl.
June 11National Cheese Grater Awareness Day
Raising awareness of the cheese grater, most useful of graters.
June 12National Pillory a Pillow Day
Pillory a pillow today. It deserves it.
June 13National Purple Pencil Day
Celebrating the purple pencil.
June 14Day of the Thousand-Year-Old Egg
Celebrating a thousand-year-old egg living in a cave in China.
June 15National June Equinox Day
Today is the June Equinox, which isn't a real thing.
June 16National Unnecessary Film Reboot Day
Celebrating the unnecessary film reboot.
June 17National Awareness Awareness Day
Raising awarness of the virtue of awareness.
June 18National Burn a Donut Day
Light a donut on fire. Let it burn.
June 19National Asterisk Appreciation Day
Celebrating the asterisk, most star-like of the punctuation marks.
June 20National Nationals Day
Celebrating the nation's nationals.
June 21National Printed Website Day
Print out your favorite website today.
June 22National Circle of Spice Day
Celebrating the unending circle of spice.
June 23National Get Off My Lawn Day
Chase trespassers from your property, with or without firearms.
June 24National Semaphore Awareness Day
Raising awareness of the semaphore that surrounds us.
June 25National Concrete Remembrance Day
Remembering concrete, lost on this day in 1919.
June 26National Poop Smear Day
Celebrating the iconic poop smear.
June 27National Thunder-Cow Day
Celebrating the heroic Thunder-Cow.
June 28National Trample the Flowers Day
Trample some flowers. You know you want to.
June 29National Right-Rear Wheel Day
Honoring the right-rear wheel, the most important wheel.
June 30National Day of the Flying Frog
Tell everybody that that you'll do it when frogs fly!

July

July 1National Indeterminate Smell Day
Celebrating the indeterminate smell.
July 2National Pilates Pirates Day
Celebrating the legend of the Pilates Pirates.
July 3National Grassy Ass Day
Celebrating the grassy ass, especially those featuring dirt streaks.
July 4National Tax Dependents Day
Celebrating all claimed dependents on U.S. tax filings.
July 5National Money Order Day
Celebrating the underutilized money order.
July 6Day of the Stapled Abdomen
Celebrating all stapled abdomens.
July 7National Scroll-Lock Remembrance Day
Remembering scroll-lock, the second least appreciated key.
July 8National Mosquito Awareness Day
Make yourself aware of the mosquito today.
July 9National Right Big Toenail Day
Celebrating the right big toenail, king of the toenails.
July 10National Eat Your Aspic Day
Eat your aspic! It's delicious!
July 11National Pretentious Frenchman Day
Celebrating the pretentious Frenchman. Yes, Louis. You.
July 12National Listen to Corn Day
Listen to the corn in your heart.
July 13National Go to Wake Day
Why go to sleep when you can go to wake?
July 14National Telegraph Day
Celebrating the tattered remnants of the telegraph system.
July 15National Rusty Jeep Day
Honoring the project Jeeps that should have been left alone.
July 16National Day of the Picosecond
Celebrating the underutilized picosecond.
July 17National Watch the Watch Day
Spend today watching your watch.
July 18National Emu Awareness Day
Raising awareness of the humble emu in northern Idaho.
July 19National Nostril Blog Day
Blog about your nostrils today.
July 20National Visit the Swamp Day
Visit a swamp. Just do it.
July 21National Come Out of the Pantry Day
Be yourself today; come out of the pantry.
July 22National Fax Your Cats Day
Put cats on the fax machine and send them to your friends!
July 23National Sugar on Your Onion Day
Put some sugar on your onions today.
July 24National Spoon Conversion Day
Convert your spoons to forks.
July 25National Unset Concrete Day
Celebrating the world's unset concrete.
July 26National Day of the Sniffed Finger
Get that finger out of your ear. You don't know where that finger's been.
July 27National Brain Fart Day
What day is it again?
July 28National Day of the Floppy Disk
Celebrating the sacrifice of the late floppy disk.
July 29National Hyphenation Day
Celebrating the hyphenation of words, nec-essary or not.
July 30National Not-My-Circus Day
Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
July 31National Lost Potato Day
Where did I put that potato?

August

August 1National Jackson-Pratt Drain Day
Celebrating the Jackson-Pratt Drain, king of post-operative drains.
August 2National Fake Wood Day
Celebrating the world's fake, plastic wood.
August 3National Upside-Down Duck Day
Celebrating the upside-down ducks of America.
August 4National Spork Inferno Remembrance Day
Remembering the disasterous Spork Inferno of 1947.
August 5National Day of the Forgotten Onion
Remembering the onion that you forgot.
August 6National Crooked House Number Day
Celebrating the crooked house number, which is just too hard to fix.
August 7National Bad Jokes About Hospitals Day
Make bad jokes about hospitals today.
August 8National Bird Diarrhea Day
Celebrating birds with diarrhea.
August 9National Internet Awareness Day
Raising awareness of the Internet, an unknown computer network.
August 10National Gouged Frying Pan Day
Remembering the valiant, gouged frying pan.
August 11National Painful Sneeze Day
Celebrating painful sneezes, the most unfortunate sneezes.
August 12National No Flowers on Cakes Day
Flowers aren't food. Don't put them on cakes.
August 13National Flowers on Cakes Day
Flowers are pretty. Put them on cakes.
August 14National Remember the Budget Day
Remember the budget!
August 15National Birth of the Birthday Day
Celebrating the humble birth of the birthday in eighth-century Albania.
August 16National Mass Air Flow (MAF) Sensor Day
Celebrating the Mass Air Flow (MAF) sensor in your car.
August 17National Day of the Inverted Color Palette
Invert all of your color palettes today.
August 18National Butt-Wipe Day
Wipe your butt.
August 19National Shave the Frog Day
Shave the nearest frog. Do it now.
August 20National Grass Awareness Day
Raising awareness of grass.
August 21National Banana Bandana Day
Celebrating the banana bandana.
August 22National Dish Soap Day
Celebrating dish soap, useful soap for dishes.
August 23National Virginia Earthquake Remembrance Day
Remembering the mildly inconvenient 2011 Virginia earthquake.
August 24National Pop a Yoga Ball Day
Pop one of those stupid yoga balls. Ugh.
August 25National Trim Your Ear Hair Day
Trim your ear hair today. It needs it.
August 26National Day of the Exploding Muffin
Remembering the tragic loss of the exploding muffin.
August 27National Wafting Fart Day
Celebrating the wafting fart and its incredible journey.
August 28National Papal Toothbrush Day
Celebrating the pope's toothbrush.
August 29National There Are No Aliens Day
Celebrating that there are no aliens and Earth is safe.
August 30National Hide in the Bushes Day
Hide in the bushes. Now is the time.
August 31National Brake Light Awareness Day
Be aware of the brake lights that surround us.

September

September 1National Block IIR-M Series GPS Satellite Day
Celebrating the eight IIR-M series GPS satellites.
September 2National Try the Sausage Day
Try the sausage today. It's worth it.
September 3National Stand in a Flower Pot Day
Stand in a flower pot today. Be one with the garden.
September 4National Poop on the Stairs Day
Poop on the stairs today. Why not?
September 5National Jaywalking Awareness Day
Raising awareness of the walk of the chattering jay.
September 6National Rose Implantation Day
Permanently implant a rose plant.
September 7National Hazard-Light Test Day
Test the proper function of your hazard lights today.
September 8National Obnoxious Flashing Light Day
Celebrating the obnoxious flashing light in the window.
September 9National Tall Stack of Ice Cubes Day
Celebrating the tall stack of ice cubes.
September 10National Yugo Remembrance Day
Remembering the Yugo, also known as the Zastava Koral.
September 11National Neutron Awareness Day
Raising awareness of the neutron, useful subatomic particle.
September 12National Pluck an Eyebrow Day
Pluck a single eyebrow today.
September 13National Surprise Donkey Day
Surprise! Donkey!
September 14National No Pineapple on Pizza Day
Pineapple does not belong on pizza. Stop it.
September 15National Pineapple on Pizza Day
Pineapple belongs on pizza. Deal with it.
September 16National Colorized Photo Day
Celebrating the colorized photo, especially those poorly done.
September 17National Oxygen Day
Celebrating oxygen, which is useful for breathing.
September 18National Shank a Magical Pony Day
Shank a magical pony. Just do it.
September 19National Find a Rock in the Road Day
Find a rock in the road. Leave it there, but at least you found it.
September 20National Day of the Ruptured Spleen
Remembering the world's ruptured spleens.
September 21National Mailbox on the Moon Day
Celebrating the mailbox on the moon, and those who deliver to it.
September 22National Don't Eat Cupcakes Day
In memory of all the frosting lost, do not eat cupcakes today.
September 23National Inverted Face Day
Invert your face. It's easy!
September 24National Day of the Torque Wrench
Celebrating the torque wrench, king of the wrenches.
September 25National Tweet the President Day
Send a meaningless Tweet to the President of the United States.
September 26National Pinky Ring Day
Celebrating the pinky ring, and those pinkies still un-ringed.
September 27National Misplaced Bucket Day
Celebrating the misplaced bucket.
September 28National Day of the Daily Exercise Regimen
Remembering the untimely death of the daily exercise regimen.
September 29National Legal Disclaimer Day
Celebrating the legal disclaimers at the bottom.
September 30National Tweezer Remembrance Day
Remembering the humble tweezer.

October

October 1National January Day
Honoring and celebrating the month of January.
October 2National Scrollbar Day
Celebrating the scrollbar, useful for scrolling.
October 3National Milk Froth Day
Celebrating the timeless beauty of milk froth.
October 4National Day of the Forgotten Suitcase
Remembering the suitcase that you had forgotten.
October 5National Spiral Pasta Crushing Day
Crush your spiral pasta before it has the chance to crush you.
October 6National Deny Everything Day
Deny everything. Hurry.
October 7National Not Microwave-Safe Day
Today is not microwave-safe. Don't microwave it.
October 8National Azimuthal Equidistant Projection Day
Celebrating the azimuthal equidistant projection and its beautiful distortions.
October 9National Biohazard Day
Today is a biohazard.
October 10Diez de Octubre
Celebrating the tenth of October, a day which did not occur in Spain in 1582.
October 11National Charred Marshmallow Day
Honoring the charred marshmallow that was left in the fire too long.
October 12National Ladle of October Day
Remember, remember, the ladle of October.
October 13National Ejaculatory Phrase Day
Celebrating the ejaculatory phrase, which should be used in earnest today.
October 14National Light the Noodle on Fire Day
Light the noodle on fire. Now.
October 15National Don't Play With Arsenic Day
Don't play with arsenic. Just don't.
October 16National Day of the Explosive Burrito
Celebrating the explosive burrito.
October 17National Brunch Liberation Day
Celebrating the liberation of brunch. Be free, brunch.
October 18National Running Out of Toner Day
You are running out of toner today.
October 19Wesley Green's Birthday
Celebrating the birth of Wesley Green, national hero.
October 20National Electric Fan Day
Celebrating the electric fan.
October 21National Subcutaneous Splinter Day
Celebrating subcutaneous splinters, especially wooden ones.
October 22National Turtle of the Sky Day
Celebrating the world's rarest creature, the Turtle of the Sky.
October 23National Unsprung Weight Awareness Day
Raising awareness of the scourge of unsprung weight.
October 24National Day of the Mid-Summer
Celebrating the sun and heat of the mid-summer.
October 25National Floor Awareness Day
Raising awareness of the humble floor, carpeted and uncarpeted.
October 26National Dongle Day
Celebrating the unsung dongle.
October 27National Imploding Gourd Day
Celebrating the infamous imploding gourd.
October 28Happy Birthday Day
Wish everybody a happy birthday today. Everybody.
October 29National Drop the Fork Day
Drop your fork onto the restaurant floor. They'll bring you a new one.
October 30National Bonnet Day
Wear a bonnet. This is very important.
October 31National Day of the Parting Sloth
Celebrating the infamous parting sloth.

November

November 1National Parade on My Rain Day
It's so annoying when somebody parades on my rain.
November 2National Lane Marker Day
Celebrating the humble lane markers of the nation's highways.
November 3National Eat-Your-Fats Day
Make sure you keep your fat intake up. It's good for you.
November 4National Pay-By-Check Day
Rekindle the joy of paying for products and services by check.
November 5National License Plate Day
Celebrating and honoring the license plate.
November 6National Burnt Counter Day
Celebrating the many burn marks on the world's counters.
November 7National Four-Way Stop Day
Celebrating the four-way stop, and those who fail to navigate them correctly.
November 8National Find Yourself Somewhere Else Day
Go find yourself…but please, do it somewhere else.
November 9National Five-Legged Spider Day
Paying respects to those spiders who lost three of their legs.
November 10National Scheming Pyramid Day
Remembering the scheming pyramids that originated the pyramid scheme.
November 11National Find a Nail in the Road Day
Go find a nail in the road. Remove it if you want to.
November 12National Dingle Bells Day
Celebrating the world's dingle bells.
November 13National Go to the Attic Day
Go to the attic. You probably haven't been there in a while.
November 14National Q-Tip Inversion Day
Celebrating the infamous inversion of the Q-Tip.
November 15National Pug Fart Day
Celebrating the aromatic scent of the pug fart.
November 16National Day of the USB Floppy Drive
Celebrating the USB floppy drive, king of transitional technologies.
November 17National Face on the Sun Day
Celebrating the face on the sun, the man in the moon's cousin.
November 18National Cow on the Golf Course Day
Celebrating the humble cow on the golf course.
November 19National Shorten a Standing Desk Day
Find the nearest 'standing desk' and shorten it to the proper height.
November 20National Annual Review Celebration Day
Celebrating the annual review, everybody's favorite work activity.
November 21National Oily Residue Day
Celebrating oily residues, natural and artificial.
November 22National Derpy Derp Derp Day
Derpy derp derp hooray.
November 23National Day of the Forgotten Cat
You forgot your cat.
November 24National Stuck in the Teeth Day
Celebrating the food stuck in your teeth.
November 25National Pepper-Spray Condiment Day
Use your pepper-spray as a condiment...but don't blame me.
November 26National Desert Island Day
Celebrating all uncharted desert isles.
November 27National Slobbering Bird Day
Celebrating the slobbering bird of Saint Louis.
November 28National Anniversary of the Anniversary Day
Celebrating the humble birth of the anniversary in fourteenth-century Mongolia.
November 29National Buzzing Fluorescent Day
Celebrating the buzzing fluorescent light and its magical headaches.
November 30National Ball on the Roof Day
Celebrating the balls stuck on the nation's roofs.

December

December 1National Uninspired Poem Day
Celebrating the world's most uninspired poems.
December 2National Day of the Pontiac Aztek
Celebrating the world's greatest car, the Pontiac Aztek.
December 3National Dropped Phone Day
You dropped your phone.
December 4National Bandaged Foot Day
Celebrating the bandaged foot, and all its loving associates.
December 5National Rubber Pizza Day
Celebrating the rubber pizzas served in school cafeterias everywhere.
December 6National Meh...Good Enough Day
Today, everything should be considered…meh…good enough.
December 7National Cowpiguck Day
Celebrating the duck stuffed in a pig stuffed in a cow.
December 8National Compressed Garbage Day
Celebrating compression of garbage into little cubes.
December 9National Ask Stupid Questions Day
Ask a lot of stupid questions today. Why not?
December 10National Give Stupid Answers Day
Give a lot of stupid answers to questions today. Why not?
December 11National Broken Toothed Dog Day
Celebrating the dog with broken teeth.
December 12National Hair in the Drain Day
Celebrating the balls of hair that are stuck in shower drains.
December 13National Day of the ^
Celebrating the caret character and all its useful incarnations.
December 14National Contraflow Lane Reversal Day
Celebrating the rarely-used contraflow lane reversal.
December 15National Day of the Cylinder Misfire
Celebrating the cylinder misfire, king of the misfires.
December 16National Drive to Hawaii Day
It is the best possible day to drive cross-country to Hawaii.
December 17National Day of the National Day
Today we celebrate the days that we celebrate.
December 18National Software Update Day
Celebrating software updates.
December 19National Periodontal Probe Day
Celebrating the periodontal probe, king of the dental probes.
December 20National Stab the Tofu Day
Stab the tofu. Just do it.
December 21National Play Tag With Boat Anchors Day
Play tag with boat anchors.
December 22National Squirming Day
Celebrating the day of the maddening squirm.
December 23National Pot of Rabbits Day
Celebrating a large pot of rabbits.
December 24National Home Invasion Day
Celebrating Santa's unauthorized entry into billions of homes.
December 25National Big Let-Down Day
Celebrating the big let-down after the grand build-up.
December 26National Rounded Rectangle Day
Celebrating the rounded rectangle, prevalent shape.
December 27National Hat-in-the-Cat Day
Celebrating all hats that were eaten by cats.
December 28National Political Screaming Match Day
Celebrating the effective political screaming match.
December 29National Dog Vomit Encapsulation Day
Celebrating the careful encapsulation of the world's dog vomit.
December 30National Twisty Turny Day
It is a great day for twisty turnies.
December 31Day of the Ingrown Toenail
Celebrating the ingrown toenail, unsung hero of the foot.
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